Choosing Your Inner Circle


This is a major life lesson I want to teach my children early in life!

Lesson: Over the years, I have come to know all too well that time is so very valuable! The people we choose to spend our time and energy on should be worthy of it. Over time I have learned to pay close attention to relationships, my own and those around me. I’ve discovered that often times we allow individuals into our inner circles for the wrong reasons and we end up wasting a lot of valuable time on people that we find out are not worthy. L During the process we end up missing out on spending time with people that are deserving and worthy of our time and energy.

My parents did a great job of being very careful about whom they allowed into our family’s inner circle. They had a small handful of friends that they fellowshipped with. It takes a long time of development and trust to truly bond with people. I think that’s why it would take a while before my parents would call someone “friend.” So much so that I really can’t remember too many people that my parents became “friends” with while I was growing up. For the most part, their inner circle of friends were there before I was born and they remained friends my whole life, so that tells you how particular they were about whom they connected with. Their example really helped guide my selection of friends growing up. Most of the people I call “friend” today have been my friends for decades with the exception of a few special gems that I have collected along the way.J I’m thankful for the modeling and example I received. My parents were always friendly to everyone but selective about “friends,” and that is what I want to teach my children.

In addition to being particular about just calling anyone friend, I also want my children to be mindful of why they want someone to be their friend. I know of so many superficial friendships that are built on very vain and non-meaningful things. It’s sad to see.

Before I went to college someone very wise told me to pray for “divine connections.” I have always carried that advice with me and it has blessed me in my relationships. It’s advice that I pass along any time I get the chance!

Application: Ask yourself this question,” Who is in my inner circle and why?” Make a list of the people that you give the most attention and energy to, the people that you share a lot of free time with. Is your inner circle based on people who have status, people who have money, people of a certain profession, people that you think will make it one day so you keep them close, people that you think can help you, people that can get you invited to the best dinner party, people who have influence in their company or church, people that ease your consciousness of your bad behaviors? Or, is your inner circle made up of your family, close friends who share the same values as you, people who are there for you when things aren’t going well, people who will hold you accountable, people who support you when you are struggling with the mundane everyday headaches and heartaches that come with life, people who celebrate triumphs and victories with you but also mourn loss and grief with you? Do you need to make some adjustments? It’s something to think about… Our children are watching and they need us to SHOW them the right way to choose their inner circle.

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  • Reply
    LaNetta Price
    July 16, 2017 at 5:39 am

    What a great read! As an adult and a child…it is definitely important to be mindful of who you let in your inner circle. We are soo quick to call someone a friend, when they may just be an associate. I think that as you get older you development discernment. This allows you to really understand what you need out of certain relationships.

  • Reply
    April 28, 2017 at 12:01 pm

    Dr. Peeps,
    For various reasons, I’m able to relate to the article, “Choosing Your Inner Circle”. In elementary school, I had a cousin that I admired because of her many friendships. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that she too had an inner circle.

    What’s interesting to me is that I never thought about how my inner circle may be a reflection of my parents. My mother had a very small group of close friends and I grew up that way as well. Even to this day, my seasons of life have changed numerous times. Although friends have come, the circle remains small. Throughout my times in life I had to reflect on why that is. Actually, just about two years ago I was able to understand why I’m not always consistently flocking to the outer circles. It’s part of God’s purpose for my life. I love my friends and family. There are just times when God says, “Yes”, “Not right now” & “No”. So I’m choosing to listen to Him even if I don’t understand at the moment.

    Thanks for sharing your life lessons, their all a blessing to me!

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