Lesson: A lot of parents tell me that getting through homework with their child in the evenings is torture. The truth of the matter is, for most schools, homework is an essential part of the learning process and there is no way around it (I don’t necessarily agree but that’s for another blog article). 🙂

Here are 5 steps to consider that may help ease the stress of homework time:

1. Have a real conversation with your child about their thoughts and feelings regarding homework. That may sound corny but people underestimate how much children just want to be heard. Sometimes just empathizing with your children can go a long way when trying to get a breakthrough with an issue.
2. Once you know their feelings and thoughts, express understanding while still sticking to the importance of following through with the expectations of the school and teacher(s).
3. Ask them what makes them most comfortable when doing homework AND what helps them focus most. The mistake that a lot of parents make is forcing their child to do homework the same way they did as a child.
   • For example, if you did homework at the desk in your quiet room with the door closed while growing up, you may think that’s how your child is supposed to do their homework as well. If your child comes out after an hour with 2 out of 10 math problems finished, that may not be the best method for them. Some students like to sit on the floor or on the couch while doing homework, some just want to be in the room with other family members and not isolated, while some need soft music in the background. Other students might need a break when they first come home from school before starting homework and some can jump right in after they have a snack.
   • As an adult student, I needed to have the TV on in the background. The volume could be low or on mute, but I needed it on. I’m just more comfortable with the TV going in the background. My husband could not figure out how I was writing my doctoral dissertation with the TV on but it worked for me. 🙂 Everyone is different and the key is creating the right atmosphere that fits your child’s learning style so they will be most productive
4.  As the parent, you may have to implement some non-negotiable rules that curtails some things you know are distractions for your child. Maybe homework time is a no-cell phone zone or maybe siblings can’t work on homework in the same workspace because they distract each other.
5. Setting a deadline for completion of homework is a good idea. When I was in school, I gave myself until 10:00 p.m. to work. When 10:00 came around, I shut everything down even if I wasn’t finished. I knew that the quality of whatever I was going to produce after a certain time in the evening wouldn’t be good so I would stop myself and then set the alarm to get up extra early to finish in the morning when I was fresh and alert. My husband, on the other hand, will stay up extra late if he’s working on a project to get it done rather then get up early in the morning. Maybe your child can work an hour straight and get all of their homework finished or maybe your child needs mini-breaks in between because they can’t sit for long. Figure out a reasonable goal for time spent and then implement it. Hopefully they won’t have hours and hours of homework (I have a strong opinion about that too but I’ll save that for another time as well). 🙂

Action Step(s): Start with the conversation, steps 1-4 today! So much break-through can happen just by talking through those four steps! Once the conversation is finished then come up with a clear plan incorporating step 5’s suggestions together.