The Art of Dating At Home


Lesson: As parents of young children who are very particular about whom we allow to babysit, my husband and I have pretty much mastered the art of having “date night” at home. With the busyness that comes with being a parent, it can be very difficult to connect with your spouse no matter the age of your children. Children require a lot of time and energy and if we aren’t purposeful about planning out undivided time for our spouse, we can get lost in the demands of parenthood and damage our marriage in the process.

I am a firm believer in putting effort into balancing and “feeding” the many roles and responsibilities of life in order to be the best whole person you can be. It’s not selfish to take time for yourself or spouse, it’s actually one of the best things you can do for your children. The more fulfilled and balanced you are, the better parent you will be for your children!

If you are anything like me and you are hesitant to drop off your little ones at someone’s house for a sleepover in order to get a date in, then being creative for a nice date at home after the children are asleep is the way to go. Don’t get me wrong; when Nana is ready for a sleepover with her grandchildren we take full advantage of a date out as well. 🙂

Nevertheless, lately most of our dates are at home. Here are 7 easy and practical ideas that we’ve done or plan to do in the future for “date night” at home. All of them are designed for a loving and enjoyable evening with the one you love:

  1. Cooking a meal together: This is one of my favorites! My husband and I love a good meal and we’re not afraid to explore and be creative with trying and cooking new foods. Our favorite is surf and turf, which we tend to choose most of the time. 🙂 We set a nice table and light some candles once we’re done cooking for a nice candlelight dinner.
  2. Spa night at home: Prior to having our youngest children, my husband and I were fortunate enough to get a masseuse to bring their table to our home and give us each a massage at home. It was amazing! Today we would probably be more practical and give each other spa services. J A nice massage or pedicure/manicure would be a great way to relax and pamper each other.
  3. Dance: We usually build in slow dancing into our dinner date nights. We have a “husband and wife” music playlist that we turn on during our date night and after dinner we slow dance, usually in front of the fireplace.
  4. Karaoke: We haven’t done this one yet but I had this idea after having a great time singing karaoke with my husband’s family when we went to visit them out west. We love to laugh at ourselves and be silly, so I think this would be fun to do for a “date night.”
  5. Take a bubble bath: This one is pretty self-explanatory. It’s enjoyable and relaxing. Picking out a bubble bath, bath oil or bath salts that you both like is the hardest part. Light a few candles and you are off to a relaxing and enjoyable date. 🙂
  6. Work on a dream journal together: My husband and I love to dream out loud and I am very visual, so pictures speak to me. We put pictures in our journal. This is totally a bonding experience! Sharing your hopes, desires and dreams for your future and the future of your family brings you together and puts you on the same page in this journey of life.
  7. Learn a new hobby together: This is something that we’ve talked about but we haven’t done yet. We have to decide on a shared hobby that we’d bother like first. 🙂

A few other ideas are games, movies and even a picnic in the backyard on a blanket if you have the space. I recently heard about something called Date Night Box. It’s basically a company that will provide you with everything you need for a creative date at home all in one box. I haven’t done any research on this yet so this isn’t an endorsement, just another idea you might want to look into. At the end of the day just spending quality time together is the ultimate goal even if that means just sitting down looking into each other’s eyes and talking about something other than your children. 🙂

Application: The next time you find yourself missing undivided attention with your spouse, designate a night, decide on an activity that you will both enjoy, put the kids to sleep and make it happen! Side note: This is the time when having your kids on scheduled bedtimes works to your benefit! 🙂

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  • Reply
    LaNetta Price
    July 16, 2017 at 5:48 am

    This would be great if I had a husband. (hehe!)

    • Reply
      July 16, 2017 at 1:31 pm

      🙂 As one of my subscribers (Carolyn L.) pointed out, you can create “Mommy time” moments. With or without a husband, moms don’t always make time to pamper themselves or “date” themselves if you will. You can enjoy these moments too Lanetta 🙂

  • Reply
    Carolyn L.
    December 8, 2016 at 5:13 am

    Dr. Peeples,
    “The Art of Dating at Home” is an excellent idea. As parents, particularly us as mothers, many times need our “moments”. For those who may not have spouses can still enjoy “Mommy time” and apply ideas you mentioned, crocheting, word puzzles, drawing/painting, or just catching up on some much needed rest! It’s something about that last four letter word that can be so refreshing!

    In this article, you are also teaching wisdom on how to save financially. Several of the topics you mentioned can become expensive if we’re not careful. This past Saturday, I gave my husband (and two of our children) a pedicure. Although they all enjoyed it, my husband really appreciated it. The best part about it is that I had everything I needed at home, so I didn’t have to go out to buy anything.

    My husband and I did have some date nights at home when our children were younger but not to the full extent of what you have shared. There was a point in our marriage when I appreciated going to the grocery store together and considered that our “date”. I know a lot of people don’t consider that a date but it certainly wasn’t a cheap one either! It wasn’t until our children became teenagers that we started on our date journey. Now, we will just say, “We’ll be back” and try to hurry out the door before the 101 questions come flying our way and into our ears! My husband and I laugh about it and have no regrets!

    Thank you Dr. Peoples for continuing your blog! I’m enjoying them immensely! God bless you and your family.

    • Reply
      December 13, 2016 at 2:14 am

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences! I love the idea of “Mommy Date-night!” I’m thankful that my blog is bringing insight and encouragement to others! God Bless you and your family as well! 🙂

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